Jealous...

Jealousy.

My first thought... that is an "ugly" word.

This morning I was reading the book of Jeremiah (oddly enough by flashlight so I wouldn't wake Scott.) I realized something: God is a jealous God. In the beginning of the book God calls Jeremiah to be His mouthpiece because Israel and Judah had both turned their hearts away from Him. God is not happy about it. The Lord recounts his history with his people... he remembers "the devotion of their youth when how as a bride they loved him."

Can you hear the ache in his heart. The longing. Think about that word picture. You've been to a wedding before, maybe in one... maybe you've been the bride. My favorite thing to do at a wedding is watch the groom when she walks down the aisle. They are smitten. Totally sucked in. That's the Lord. And then there is the bride, she is lost. Usually the first to choke up during the vows and all her hopes and dreams are tied up in her groom. The Lord remembers that look and He wants it back. He wants their devotion and he has decided the gentle prodding is over. He is bringing out the big guns. Like a jealous husband it is time to get the girl back!

I am no Bible scholar... Some days I "just" read the Bible. Some days I don't. Some days I read and "meditate" - Today fell under the latter. As I read, my heart was drawn to phrases like; as a bride you loved me, and I brought you up and I brought you out... they have forsaken me... the living spring of water. This one was the heaviest; You have lived as a prostitute with many lovers... you have the brazen look of a prostitute; you refuse to blush with shame.

ouch.

I think; "those bad Israelites!"

Of course, the Holy Spirit doesn't let me lay with that thought very long. Am I any different? Don't I love him and leave him? Don't I forsake him for the opinions of others? for convenience? for entertainment? Don't I look at him brazenly and say; "I know this isn't what you want for me but I am going to do it anyways?" I do it a lot. More often than I care to think about... so I don't - I refuse to blush with shame and I "drink from broken cisterns that don't hold water" instead of turning to the "spring of living water".

I am stupid.

God is hungry for me. He doesn't need me... He wants me.
God is hungry for you. He doesn't need you... He wants you.

Somehow, that word - jealous - doesn't seem so ugly anymore. In fact, it's rather beautiful. I love the fact that he is jealous for me, for my affection and devotion. I love the fact that he is willing to fight with me, for me. I have a deep longing to be fought for and fought over. I want to know I am loved that much.

Interesting... the cross is a lot like that word. Ugly when you think that historically it was the most inhumane means of torture and death. Beautiful when I think of Christ's willingness to stay on it, for me (and you). The cross is evidence of his jealousy and his love, of his willingness to go to extreme lengths to rescue, redeem and restore. All for the love of a bride.